By Feather Berkower, MSW November 19, 2019 Dear Parenting Safe Children Community, If your child had a peanut allergy, you would take the time to talk with all of their…
November 8, 2019 – Feather Berkower was interviewed by Ryan Warner on Colorado Public Radio’s Colorado Matters. She shares her insights on preventing child sexual assault, including the mixed messages…
Pornography isn’t what it used to be. It’s vastly accessible, more demeaning than ever, and children are exposed to it earlier than you’d like to think. I regularly receive phone…
Feather Berkower, MSW
August 7, 2019
Check out this interview between a parent and school director about policies and best practices that keep children safe from sexual assault. The more you have THIS conversation, the easier it gets and the closer we are to realizing the Parenting Safe Children mission of communities that are off-limits to child sexual assault. Let the interview begin:
Parent: Thanks for taking the time to talk. I’m making it a habit to meet with all of the adults in my child’s life about body safety. I’d like to learn more about how you keep children safe from sexual assault while they’re in your care. May I ask you a few questions?
School Director: Of course. We want to be having this conversation with parents.
Parent: Thank you. Well, for starters, I was wondering if you could tell me about your screening process for new hires?
School Director: Yes, for sure. We do three things: We perform background checks, call references, and ask specific interview questions. For backgrounds, we check all prospective hires and volunteers against the state and local law enforcement databases as well as the National Sex Offender Registry. We check three professional references. And in the interview, we discuss our zero tolerance for sexual abuse and even ask candidates questions about the appropriate and inappropriate touch of children. By being so up front, we’re trying to steer away people with questionable intentions.
Parent: I’m glad to hear this and appreciate your directness with job candidates. What about training? Do your staff get trained in child sexual abuse prevention?
School Director: We do offer regular training for staff and we’re trying to implement an online training program for volunteers and new staff who join us mid-way through the school year. You’re welcome to see the curriculum.
Parent: My partner and I attended the Parenting Safe Children workshop and learned about the kinds of policies that need to be in place to help keep children safe. What policies do you have to minimize the risk for sexual abuse?
School Director: I’ll give you three examples of our policies.
- An adult or older child should not be alone with a child. Tutoring, for instance, is done in a group setting. Or if tutoring needs to be done one-on-one, it’s always done in an open area rather than behind a closed door.
- We have guidelines about the appropriate and inappropriate touch of children by adults and by other children. For example, high-fives are cool. Tickling, not okay.
- We also have policies about bathrooms and changing clothes – and for our youngest kids, diapering. Diapering is done in open areas. With bathrooms, children can go alone, but if there’s more than one child using the bathroom, they’re always supervised by an adult.
Parent: But everyone is so busy. How do you possible monitor these policies?
Director: We have to and the buck stops with me. I do the monitoring along with another senior administrator. We make regular announced and unannounced visits to each classroom, after-school activity, and the school yard. We observe staff members and volunteers interact with children. We also bring up prevention at staff meetings and in performance reviews. It’s about creating a culture that has no tolerance for child sexual assault so we have to keep talking about it and educating staff.
Parent: And, I hate to say it, but in the event that something does happen – what’s your protocol for reporting child sexual assault?
Director: All youth professionals are mandated reporters, and our policy is that we report any known or suspected child sexual assault to authorities within 24-hours.
Parent: May I have a copy of the policies we talked about today.
Director: Absolutely; in fact, starting this year we give each parent a copy of our policies when they enroll their child in the school – and we will be alerting all parents of existing students that it’s available. Do you have any other questions for me?
Parent: I’ll let you know if I have other questions after I review the policies. I so appreciate you taking the time to talk.
As your children head back to school or day care, I urge you to talk with principals and program directors about policies that keep children safe from sexual assault using this interview as a model. During your conversation, listen for both content and tone – and be wary of resistance and dismissiveness. If you have questions or comments, join the conversation below.
Feather Berkower, MSW, is Founder of Parenting Safe Children and a Child Sexual Assault Prevention Educator & Author
Photo Credit: © 2019 Pan Xiaozhen
We are thoughtful parents, friends and relatives, but sometimes we say things that inadvertently contribute to a child’s vulnerability. Here are some everyday examples – and suggestions for how to…
Hello everyone, it’s been a while!
Once again it is April, which is Child Abuse Prevention Month. As you can imagine, this is an important time of the year for us here at Parenting Safe Children and for all parents as well. I have recently done a couple of podcast interviews, feel free to have a listen:
The Mamaste Podcast
Parenting Safe Children with Feather Berkower
April 2, 2019
Psychologists Off The Clock Podcast
Courageous Conversations about Childhood Sexual Assault with Feather Berkower
April 3, 2019
Mommy & Me Natural HealthCARE
Keeping Children Safe From Sexual Assault with Feather Berkower
May 8, 2019
In other news, the Off Limits book and Parenting Safe Children Conversation-Starter cards are now available on the website as a bundle – buy both and save 10%.
It’s only spring but Parenting Safe Children is already making plans for the fall! If you are interested in attending or hosting a Parenting Safe Children workshop in your community in the Denver area, please contact me.
If you live outside the Denver area, you can also host the Parenting Safe Children Online Workshop in your community. People are gathering together all over the United States and participating in the PSC Online Workshop in their schools, churches, and homes.